A National Shame

Firstly, I must apologise for the following rant being slightly outdated but my internet has been down for the last week or so. Nonetheless, my feelings are still strong (and I apologise for some word choice) and I feel that the people that have disgraced this fair country of ours must be made accountable.

I had the privilege of going to the Australia day cricket match of Australia v Sri Lanka, my first experience of an international one day match. I have been to many Adelaide Oval test matches (this years was the first in 8 years that I missed) but it isn’t the same. Needless to say I was very excited. However, the game was a dud but I still enjoyed myself mainly owing to the mad adventures on the hill. The game should have been so much better, though, and this is where my tirade begins.

Had Sir Wankas not batted so poorly maybe things would have been different but at the moment I think the Australian cricket team is an absolute disgrace. The performance they showed that day was a dishonour to all fans and Adelaidians alike. The match played on Australia day was without its captain, Ricky Ponting. On the one day that you think you would feel most proud to don the green and gold, and Ponting decides to take a rest. On Australia Day. “I don’t feel like playing for Australia on Australia Day” That’s not a direct quote but pretty close im sure. What a mother fucking soft cock. “Ive played about 30 days of cricket in the last 4 months, Im tired” (again not a direct quote). Fuck off you stupid granny fucker. You cant ring in sick when playing for Australia, especially when you are in a position to have many breaks and travel the world. His current form would make him the worlds best player at the moment and that’s what I wanted to see. And the problem is Ponting is not the only one. The whole Australian side has this resting policy. Resting from what? They play about 2 games a week for about 2 months. Brett Lee and Andrew Symonds are the only players I have respect for. Both have said they will not rest and want to play every game Australia plays. They should be applauded. Simon Katich also doesn’t want to rest but hes a knobdoctor anyway. And the reason for the rest policy = want to keep players right for the world cup. The world cup is still over 12 months away! And the players they are replacing the “rested” players with they want to look at for the world cup. That is Brad Hodge and that really tall, unko looking guy from Western Australia. WHAT ABOUT THAT YOUTH POLICY YOU WERE ENFORCING WHEN YOU GOT RID OF BOOF YOU DONKEY RAPING FUCKERS? IF BOOF WAS PLAYING THE ASHES WE WOULD HAVE WON! But no, hes not from NSW. And maybe that’s why Cosgrove cant get in the team. Someone who is averaging 90 in the national competition isn’t good enough? FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The current Australian bowling line up consists of 4 New South Welshmen. Now, if they were to play for NSW, with Stuart Magill in that side, one of them would be dropped. That means Australia is currently playing someone who wouldn’t make a full strength state side. How does that work? Stuart Clark should not be playing. Nathan Bracken should not be playing. Hodge should not be playing. Katich, maybe. I hope Watson doesn’t come straight back into the side when he recovers because he can hardly make it in the national competition but still gets picked for Australia! “We’re trying to get him to the standard needed” (that’s an almost direct quote). That’s what the national competition is for. They play well there, they play for Australia. Not so. An absolute disgrace and a sham. This youth policy they keep talking about is a sham. Hodge made his debut 2 games ago and hes over 30. As was Jacques. Cosgrove should be playing. We have a 21 year old natural who continues to get overlooked.

Anyways, all I know is if I was privileged enough to represent my family, state and country in anything I would represent it with pride and not be a mother fucking soft cock about it. Especially on the day we celebrate being Australian. But that’s just me. Maybe cricketers think differently. Maybe Ponting failed to duck one to many bouncers. Maybe Trevor Hohns is a fuckwit. No wait, there’s no maybe about that one.

Im still going to support Australia and I hope they put the Lankans and the South Africans back on the leaky boat they came out here on. I have been fortunate enough to grow up and witness some of Australias finest cricket. From when Allan Border was captain to the end of Steve Waugh. Now most of Australias cricketers are a bunch of fags. It hurts me to say so but I could forgive Australia for giving up the next year and getting rid of all the fags (eg. Ponting, Gilchist, Hodge, Hogg, Bracken, McGrath, Clark). The current team lost to Bangladesh only about 6 months ago. Bangladesh! So whats the difference then if we actually enforce this youth policy we hear so often about to get rid of the has beens.

Australia Day is about showing how much pride you have for Australia. Ponting failed. The Australian cricket team failed. Its about time they stopped crying to the Whaaaaaambulance and grew some balls.